The Doty Bunch Year in Review 2009

So, for those of you whose snail mail address I don't have, I thought I would post my yearly rant on the blog as well. Special thanks to my BFF Jess for helping me put together the "Doty Bunch" image. Sometimes I have such a hard time putting together what I come up with in this always-thinking brain of mine. Enjoy!

This year I thought I’d start my Christmas letter out with a song. I have stolen the melody so as you sing it in your head, please use the tune to the theme song of the TV show “The Brady Bunch”. Here goes…

Here’s a story…
Of a gal named Amy
Who got hitched to a guy named Kirk one day in May
And they had 4 kids
Kyle, Keaton, Abby
And lil’ Alexa Kay

Then they felt called to
Add to their happy family
And they knew it was much more than a hunch
Added Brianna and Hongru the Chinaman
And now no one ever asks them over for lunch

The Doty Bunch
The Doty Bunch
That’s the way we became the Doty Bunch


Aren’t I just the clever one? And just when you thought I couldn’t top the previous Christmas letter I go and get all creative once again. I even amaze myself sometimes.

So, on with all the news of 2009. Has been a very big year here at the Doty house. Additions and changes….all part of life but seems we had our fair share this year. One of our biggest additions this year was the addition of Brianna to our family. She came to us a couple days before Valentine’s Day thru the foster care system and appears she is going to be with us for quite some time. She is 9 years old and is in the 4th grade. She is all girl and loves to sing. Some mornings I feel like I am in the midst of a musical. Can cause some drama as she is pretty much the ONLY morning person here (myself included) and there is not much of a tolerance for singing so early in the morning. She is also enjoys art and is an excellent reader. She has adjusted to Doty Life quite well. We are glad to have her.

Our second addition came to us in August. My friend Callico is a supervisor for a student exchange program and had asked if we would be interested in hosting. Because our last bed available was in the boys’ room, we knew our newest member would need to be a boy. Hongru was who we chose and before we knew it, we added #6 to the crew. I have now gotten a taste of what it is like to feed a teenager (and am contemplating taking on a 3rd job to finance it!). He loves meat as he is “sick of rice and vegetables” as they eat a lot of that in China. His favorite place to eat is KFC and he tells us that the joke in China about KFC is that it stands for “Kentucky Fried Children”. Kind of morbid but funny in a sick way. He is also very studious and his language skills are much better than I had anticipated. I will often ask him to teach me some Chinese but I pretty much am awful at it and often will end up saying a completely different thing. One evening I was trying to get him to teach me how to say “Close your mouth” in Chinese as that is a frequent phrase I am in need of around here. Apparently I was saying “Close your legs” in my many attempts so figured that may not be the best phrase to have in my vocabulary and have since given up on Chinese. If I ever have a need for it, I will have to resort to just calling in a favor with my Chinese son. He is currently spending time applying to colleges as he wants to attend next year. He has applied at University of Chicago and Northwestern among his choices and speaks of coming “home” on the weekends if either of these choices work out, so he must not mind us all that much. He is happy that we are within a bike ride’s distance from the public library as I think the chaos is a bit much for him at times (went from being an only child to one of six!). It has been a positive thing all around having Hongru here. A good learning experience too. I am teaching him lots of English slang and he is teaching me SAT words so it’s a good arrangement. He’ll be here til the end of the school year when he graduates from Ridgewood Baptist Academy. That brings me to the next topic, as Hongru is not the only member of the family attending Ridgewood this year. After 4 years of homeschooling, Kirk and I decided to put the kids in school and they, too, are now attending Ridgewood. Had been a bit of an adjustment for everybody but overall has been a good choice for the family I think. So, my days have suddenly gotten different. I’ve still got Alexa here and she now thinks I need to be her constant playmate, but we have found some ways to keep her occupied. Grandma Pat takes her on Mondays so I can go and volunteer at the school so that is a highlight of her week. Wednesdays we go to my BFF Jessica’s house for a play day, and Daddy tends to be home on Fridays so she is not completely stuck w/ just Mama all day every day. Hard to believe Midge will be in Kindergarten next year! She is her mama’s daughter as she is Ms. Social and makes friends easily and often. She is a wild woman and has a ton of energy. She knows her alphabet and can write most of the letters so guess the eavesdropping of the previous homeschooling years has rubbed off. She’s a trip.

Abby is 8 and in 3rd grade this year. She was not happy about going to school as she loves her mama and wanted to stay home. Can’s say as I blame her cuz I am pretty awesome. Anyways, the first few months were a bit rough as she cried almost daily prior to school and followed me around in the mornings begging me to keep her home. Was feeling like a horrible mother every time she would climb out of the car and look at me with those big brown crocodile tear filled eyes . But, by October, she finally came to grips with it all and is now okay with it. I think it has helped going to volunteer in her classroom on Mondays and having lunch with her on Mondays at school. All her classmates are jealous that her mama brings her fast food every Monday. So, it’s all good. Abby is quiet out in public but at home she is a card. She is always coming up w/ these out-of-nowhere one liners that just crack us up. She is very particular and I will no longer buy her clothes without her present as she is far too picky and I will end up returning them anyways. Her favorite food is bacon and KFC chicken, all though you would not know it by looking at her as she is a bit of a twig. She gets good grades and I quite enjoy her.

Next to speak of is Keaton. He’s 11 this year and in 6th grade. He continues to be the funny guy and enjoys getting a charge out of people. His grades are good as well and he is playing on the Jr. High Basketball team. He has such a natural athletic ability and started in the game last week, which was a big deal to him. He has adjusted to the new school life well. He continues to play the drums and has taken up bass this year as well.

Kyle is now in 7th grade and turned 12 this past April. He, too, is playing on the basketball team at school. He is learning some tough lessons this year as it is a bit different being in 7th grade at school then homeschooling. So many more authorities to answer to than just Mom. He continues to enjoy anything audiovisual like movies and video games but not much time for them these days. He has to work harder at the school stuff and there are only so many hours in a day. But, he will get there….we will keep pressing on! He continues to play electric guitar and is still taking lessons. He and Keaton also play in a band thru the music studio. He has also gotten out to the land some w/ his dad, which he really enjoys.

Speaking of the land---we have had an addition out there. We just had a 40x60 pole building built out there, much to the delight of my hubby. We will have it for storage as well as the hopes of having a lumber mill of some sort in the coming years. Kirk continues to do some hunting out there as well and he took a buck a couple weekends ago. I had contemplated including the pictures of he and the kids cleaning the deer in the garage in my little picture collage, but figured it may not be something you would want to see or put on the fridge. But, was happy for the few dinners he provided. Several deer were taken at our property by friends and we also inherited a second deer to the freezer from one of them. Will help feed our many mouths. Kirk’s job has remained steady, but much less overtime than times past. The company has since put him back in the field and downscaled their work force. I am just glad he’s still got a job as I know many have lost their jobs in this economy.

Part of the economy-related decisions being made in the workplace may have contributed to my former employer’s (Edward Hospital) decision to sell our homecare division. This means I am no longer an Edward Hospital employee (after 12 years of service) and am now an employee of Residential Home Health. Has been a bit of a rough adjustment as changes like this affect the everyday operations and morale. Had to learn a completely new computer program and be part of working out new processes, but I still have a job with them. I continue to do the on-call triage with them for the time being. Their main office is out of Michigan and some of what I am doing is likely being shifted there but will just go along and see how it all plays out. I am able to continue to work from home with them, so I will ride that deal out as long as I can. I also decided to pick up a second job working a couple 12 hr shifts a month. The name of the place is Timberline Knolls and it is a residential treatment center for women and adolescent girls who suffer from things like eating disorders, substance abuse issues, mood disorders, self harming etc. My mom works there full time so it’s fun to be working at the same place. I work the adolescent side and I completely LOVE it! I really click with the girls and feel like this field is a good fit. Kind of funny that I initially took this job for a “mental break” to get out of the house a bit and it’s at a mental health facility. I leave 6 kids and go to work w/ 26 kids. But, I love it. It’s how God wired me. A lot of people don’t understand it. And that’s okay. Initially, when Kirk and I decided to do “the big family” thing this way, people thought we were crazy. Now, I kind of enjoy getting those reactions. It’s different and people find it interesting and it opens doors to discuss the reason why we do what we do. Simply put—it is what God has called us to do. Plain and simple. Like in Hongru’s case, he had never even heard of a Bible until he walked in my front door. And we have been able to show him first hand of what a powerful thing God’s love is by inviting him, a perfect stranger to us, live with us, come along side of him over the course of this year, and do it because of the love God gave us for him before we even knew him. I think if more people did that kind of thing, we could see big things happen. I don’t think having a kid from China in your home for a year is everyone’s calling, but just taking an interest in a person and showing love and concern without “getting something in return” speaks volumes. Funny thing is that we are getting LOTS in return. May not be in the form that people would deem as valuable (like money or gifts) but the pure knowledge of knowing that our actions could be impacting ETERNITY! How cool is that? (am I too old to use the word “cool”? I hope not.) But I think you get it…..

Well, this is a record. Four pages! If I continue to add family members to this house I am afraid it may only get longer every year, my friends. We would have to move as well as I am currently out of bedrooms and beds. If anyone hears of a hotel for sale, please let me know. I think my husband would prefer a llama farm instead of the hotel (His dream is to have a llama farm and now the kids are hooked on the idea---yeah, like I said, we are DIFFERENT!) I could also use a bus at this point too. We did test drive a shuttle bus this summer and two days later went to buy it and it was sold. I was bummed cuz I wanted to paint it like the Partridge Family bus, have “The Doty Family” painted down the side, and go on tour but guess that wasn’t what God had for us. I have mourned the loss and am now okay with it. But that would have been fun.

Well, guess I will close for now. If you would like to keep up with us during the year, you can always look me up on Facebook as I am a little addicted (admitting there is a problem is the first step---I learned that at the new job at the mental health facility) You can also subscribe to my blog which is www.homeschoolmom2four.blogspot.com. Now that I am not homeschooling I may need to reconsider the name of my blog but maybe in all my spare time I will get around to that someday.

So, from my family to yours, we wish you a very Merry Christmas! God Bless you this upcoming year and always! With Much Love, The Doty Bunch

Count it all WHAT?

Mama, you were right. As you get older, time does pass quickly. Has been a month since I've tapped away at these keys to document some of what is floating around this brain of mine. Partially, because I've been busy and partially because I wasn't sure what would come out. Ever go thru one of those funks? When it seems like life is just kinda beating you up? Just when you don't think another frustrating thing could fit into your day----BLAMO! There it is? Kinda just getting over the hump of one of those kinda seasons at the moment. It has been exhausting to speak very honestly. And then when those moments or situations arise, what do you do? How to you handle it? I am wired in such a way that I'm maybe a little bit more emotional than some---to what degree would be in the eye of the beholder I suppose. But it is especially noticeable in matters of the heart.....my family and kids, my relationships with others, the feelings of needing to right-the-wrongs-around-me....you know, that kind of stuff. Was feeling pretty desperate for a way to "fix-the-funk" I found myself in and walked myself into the Christian bookstore about 3 Saturdays ago. Wasn't sure what I was looking for so when the smiling teenager sales clerk asked me if she could help me find something, all I could mutter was, "Well, I'm just looking...". Looking for what though? That's the question.
I guess I was hoping for a word from God. Only seems feasible that it could happen among all the numerous titles in a Christian bookstore, doesn't it? I wasn't totally sure that it would hit me but, lo and behold, it did. A book about eye level caught my attention and I knew right away it was what I was looking for. The title said it all...."Finding God's Path Through Your Trials" by Elizabeth George. Bingo. Read the overview on the back of the book and went and slapped down my $14.95on the counter and off I went. Now to find the time to read it....well, about an hour later I found myself sitting in a parking lot waiting for Hongru and he was running late. Hmmmm....just me, the book, and almost an hour of quiet time. Chance? Not thinking so. Read the first 50 pages and had to stop for there was so much there to chew on that I felt like I couldn't move on. The biggest theme seemed to talk of "finding the joy" in ALL situations. How the heck can ya do that? Seems like a tall order, doesn't it? I mean really--especially with all that I've currently got going on! But, the author reminded me to "Count it all joy---counting trials as joy is a matter of faith, not feelings." ugh... What does that really mean? Well, basically, life is full of trials. No one will be exempt so there are a number of ways to you can respond. You can give in to anger, depression, or discouragement--all of which I have been guilty of in recent times. OR---you can choose to surrender your attitude and outlook to that of a joyful one and turn it around. Makes sense--but can be a difficult thing to implement. But, as I sit here and think about that, I am, once again, determined. Determined to make today a better day than yesterday--one that is pleasing to God. It's a daily decision to live a life of joy---and, like everything, the decisions you make can affect not only you but those around you. So, for me, today I choose joy. Even when I've got to ask Kyle for the four thousandth time in 10 years to put his seatbelt on when I pick him up from school. I'm gonna do it today with a smile on my face....but, I can't vouch for tomorrow! LOL

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all tribulations.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Updates from the Doty Bunch

At the coaxing of my friend Amy, decided to sit down and blog. Has been far too long. Lots of happenings since the last posting. Hongru has been here about 6 weeks now and has done a fine job adjusting to our chaotic life. What a change for him---coming from his homeland as an only child and entering our not-so-typical American life and becoming one of 6. We have taught him some everyday slang and he has taught me some big English words that he has learned from one of the dozen SAT prep books he is working his way thru. Kinda funny. One of his first slang words learned is what "freaking-out" entails, which Keaton has graciously taught him (and showed him on way too many occasions). Hoping my child finds a more effective way to express his displeasure in the very near future but I am not holding my breath. For if I did, I would surely die....

We went to Disney for a nice long vacation. We've had this vacation planned for a long time and when we planned it, putting the kids back in school was not part of the plan so really the timing wasn't the greatest. Have been trying to play catch up ever since. Such an adjustment getting back into someone else's ideas of school and then throw in the mix taking off 2 weeks and make-up work, adjusting to having another family member, selling a rental house, and then the everyday stuff, and you will quickly see why it has been almost 2 months since I have blogged. Have also been fighting off illness amongst it all. So, just a couple things going on..... but I think we have finally climbed over the peak of the challenges. My mom has been a big help--coming over to help w/ homework some eves, taking a kid here and there to change up the "chemistry" here at the house, and such. So, she pretty much rocks. Maybe by March we will find a rhythm, have a few smooth sailing months, and then summer will be here and we will start all over again in August. Abby continues to cry at the thought of school, gives me the big crocodile tear look when she turns to walk into school, and insists that she is NOT going to school next year and that I will be homeschooling her once again. So, that gives you a little take on her opinion of our new changes. Gradewise, she's good--as is Keaton. My Kyle, on the other hand, is struggling and I have quickly found out that I am not smarter than a 7th grader. So, Kirk and I have been tag teaming him in the evenings and we are keeping our noses just above water. We are going to have him seen by an educational specialist in the coming weeks, I think, to see if there are some identifiable issues with him (namely dyslexia or an ADD kind of thing going on) or if he is simply uninterested, lazy, and/or unmotivated. Time will tell on that one....but he is hanging in there, as are we.
As I am reading back over this post, I sound kinda grumbly, don't I? Guess all my posts can't be roses. But, it's my reality. We all have seasons. Some are better than others. Some seasons are full of emergency room trips(like this week---Kyle ended up w/ stitches and Bri fractured her collarbone. SIGH!) and asking a kid for the umteenth time to pick up his dirty underwear off the middle of the bathroom floor. Others are full of games and giggles. It was never promised that all of life would always be good things. But, it's in those tougher times, that lately I muster up the effort to look at the good and I soon realize that 95 percent of whether or not things are "going well" for me is all based on my attitude and perception of a situation. As an example, morale at one of my jobs right now is awful and I wonder if I should just quit and be done with it. Then I think of the fact that some people right now don't even have a job and that puts it into perspective. Or maybe there is a day where my kids are dancing on my very last nerve and I just want to walk out the door and drive to Fannie Mae for some Pixies----lately, I've tried to look at the fact that I've been entrusted w/ 6 individuals and there are many couples out there who have not even been given the opportunity of parenthood at all. When I look in the mirror for the 30 somethingth year in a row and can't help but wish I could be thinner and there are those out there who are wasting away from malnourishment or, worse yet, a debilitating illness.....who would give anything to have my health. So much to be thankful for even in the trying times of life.....so, I choose to see it this way---well, that is my goal anyways! Doesn't always happen, but when it does, I find the biggest changes of a situation to be more in my own reaction and feeling on the matters rather than in the situational circumstances themselves. Go figure!

Just when you thought you had it all figured out....

A big decision made at the Doty household this week....the kids are going back to school. Now the question comes, do I change the name of my blogsite? Obviously, when I chose the www.homeschoolmom2four.blogspot.com, I never intended to quit homeschooling. But, Life has a funny way of changing things up on you----Kirk and I got to assessing everything currently going on and decided that putting the kiddies in private school this year would be the best thing. The boys have actually been asking for awhile to go to school. Abby isn't really hopped up on the idea but is going along w/ it. We came to the conclusion that since we were going to be driving to the school anyways to take Hongru, it would be a good time to try it. (It also is a nice perk that the school is offering half off tuition this year to try to increase enrollment since the economy took a toll on them....) So, we just came to this decision 3 days ago and school starts Friday so I've been running around getting school clothes and supplies, taking kids to placement testing, getting haircuts (which was a little less drama filled than I had anticipated as Keaton was very fond of his hair and had to cut it to go to the school---probably the difference between Dad taking him to cut it and me doing it. He now has gone to spiking it into a mohawk and seems okay w/ the change) etc. etc. etc. So, we will see how this set up works for us around here. We debated as to whether or not to put Alexa in their preschool program but decided to go ahead and keep her home one last year since she will be in kindergarten next year--which is INSANE to think my baby will be in school full time next year! So, that's that story....
What else? Hongru comes in 4 short days so the next couple days w/ be more organizing and cleaning to prepare. We are also still working out details to possibly be purchasing a 15 passenger "bus" (ya know--like a shuttle bus type vehicle). We went and test drove it last week and really like it. Just waiting to hear back from our insurance dude to find out if the rates would be ridiculous or not.I had posted on facebook about what I want to do if we buy this thing. I thought it would be fun to paint it up like the Partridge Family bus and put "The Doty Family" down the side of it. When I told Kirk my idea, he liked it but his response was "Sounds like an expensive paint job". Always pinching pennies when you've got all these mouths to feed. Maybe I could pick up some overtime to foot the bill.... We do have the minivan still and it can seat 8 but it's pretty cramped. Since our house is usually full of other people's kids, if we have even one extra, we are taking 2 cars everywhere so the shuttle bus would be nice. The only not so nice part is that it gets like 10 miles to the gallon but whatcha gonna do? So, we will see on that one...Darn it! Now that stupid Partidge family theme song is going thru my brain again...."Hello world It's a Song that we're singing...come on get happy!"
So, that's pretty much the lastest from our household.....just thought I'd jot the update on the schooling subject. Part of me is kinda sad about giving up the homeschooling really. I love being w/ my kids. We have been together pretty much 24/7 for the most part for the last 4 years so maybe it will allow them to spread their wings a litlte bit, which isn't such a bad thing. We will see how this year goes and decide if school is for them or if we will go back to the homeschooling. Hope this school knows what they are in for! If not, they are about to find out....LOL.

Is 8 really enough?

Well, in the event you have not captured my excitement on my facebook, we are adding another family member to the Doty household in 9 short days---or 9 sleeps as Midge puts it. We are getting an exchange student from China. How about that for mixing things up around here? We all have our weaknesses---some people go the the grocery store and come come w/ bags of junk food, some people go to the pet store "to look" and come home with a puppy. Not us! We bring in other people's kids to live with us and experience the everyday antics of the Dotys and I love it! So, I will post his picture here (w/ his permission and the permission of his parents). I think he will be a very good fit. We have been emailing for about a week now--daily pretty much. His education is his priority and he just informed me that he is reading a 1000 page book currently about American History. My fear is that he is going to know more about my country than I do---which is highly likely. He will be going on our Disney trip w/ us, which should be fun. He tells me there is a Disneyland in Hong Kong and one being built in Shanghai, but he has been too busy studying to take time to go. I don't think my children will ever utter the words "I am too busy studying to go to Disney World". I have heard on several occasions that they are too busy playing video games to do their schoolwork---but somehow just not quite the same LOL. I am hoping some of his studious ways will rub off on them...here's to hoping. So, we are busy preparing---doing little projects around the house and such. I just purged 3 kitchen garbage bags of clothing in hopes of making some closet room for him. We've gotten some strange looks when we mention we are adding #6 to the gang and that's okay. My life isn't for everyone. We just happen to enjoy being a little different. What makes me shake my head ever time is when someone hears that Kirk and I do foster care and now getting the foreign exchange student--they might say, "Wow! You really have your hands full!". My response is usually "Well, better than empty!". I am kinda sick I think cuz I have gotten to where I actually kinda enjoy when people have a negative thing to say about our choice to open our home to other people's kids. Maybe because I work at a mental health facility, I think I'm a psychologist now but I like trying to figure out why people respond the way they do when they hear our story. Yeah, we could live in a bigger house rather than spend $1500 a month to feed our crew. Yeah, we could drive a nicer car than the 9 year old minivan I am currently cruising Jefferson Street in. Yeah, I could go out on the weekends with friends to fancy dinners and movies rather than ordering pizza and waiting for the movie to come out on DVD cuz going to the theater costs us a half a day's pay by the time I pay a sitter. But, that is not who we are and I'm good with it. It's not to say that things are always smooth sailing and tidy. The battle w/ the house is often and constant, and yes, I do even get grumpy at times.... But, we are doing what we feel called to do and that's it. I think everyone would agree that King Solomon is the wisest man who ever lived and I was reminded this week that his view on a large family are very similar to my own views....

Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one’s youth.

Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their enemies in the gate

Psalm 127:3-5

So, having the same view as the wisest man that ever lived isn't such a bad thing, is it?

So, who knows what else, or rather WHO else, is going to come our way. All I know is that we are where we are suppose to be and the blessings are flowing!

I will try to keep this blog updated as we introduce Hongru to the not-so-typical American lives we lead.....

Stuff

Some kind of record...posting another ramble and it's only be a couple weeks since the last one....Go ME! But what to ramble about, that's the question....
Got a plan for the kiddies' schooling this fall. We are signed up to do Classical Conversations in Oswego. Attended a 3 day practicum a few weeks back and although alot of it was beyond me, alot made sense too. We got a jump start on some of the material--namely the memorization. There is nothing cuter that seeing your four year old recite the prepositions! Who would have thunk it? Turns out Midge is digging spouting off her fun facts. She can even tell ya the 5 kingdoms of living things, the classifications of living things, and the first 11 prepositions on our list. Not to shabby! If only I could get the 12 year old to do the same~ he's just not interested! Told him he better get busy or else next year he'll be doing it all over again! Not sure he believes me, but he will find out I am serious if he doesn't get it together! Time will tell on that one I guess....
What else? Keaton turns 11 this Wednesday which makes me feel completely old---we are gonna go to Dave and Buster's I think---can never play too many video games I believe. So, that should be fun. He had his buddies over for a overnighter Friday night. I did manage to get some sleep but I think they got very little. Gave them a donut for breakfast and it was all good. As they get older, finding the birthday parties are much easier as they want to do their own thing and so there is virtually no planning---which is fine by me. Maybe the rentals of party ponies are done now, huh? My babies are getting big! We actually left ALL of them home alone for the first real time (well, the first time ON PURPOSE anyways--but that's another story! LOL). Went to dinner w/ our good buddies Jess and Hector Saturday night and left 3 kids here and 3 kids at their house and to our delight didn't get a single phone call to say that one was pestering the other so that was a glimmer of hope that we are entering a new phase of being able to entrust them with a little more freedom. Hoping we can contiue to do that as I feel like we've been on lock down the last 12 years and am excited about being able to leave my home without paying someone 8 bucks an hour to do it! So, we'll have to try it again and see if we will be able to keep making a few hours of "adult company" time. Was really nice to have a meal and not eat it cold because someone had to pee and be taken to the bathroom. I forgot just how good a meal can be when it is warm, ya know?
Well, guess I'll close this version of my ramble....
Until the next time....

My beautiful babies....

Went around yesterday and drug 6 kids along w/ me to take some shots. I try to do that in the spring but am just now getting around to it. They tolerated me pretty well. Took our foster daughter along as well as my BFF's son Isaiah along too. After our photo shoots we ended up at JC Penney's for "professional" pics too. I actually preferred the ones I took....maybe I should give up the nursing gig and become a photographer, huh? Check 'em out...